In my opinion the love bugs are the best example of a love, hate relationship.
I hate them after winter and love them after summer.
I'm so looking forward to our mild winter.
Benn.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
...then it was all over anyways!
..there is no easy way.
I got my ups and and my huge DOWNS too. I see the light but then again the darkness can take over so easily.
I thought that I had done a good job on letting go till today that I felt so bad and humiliated by my ex and it just exposed me to my own demise in love.
I did realized that when we (in this case I refer to me, but meaning people in general) say that we moved on or we say "I want you back" or "we belong together" type of comments, they are the most selfish things that we can say or do. Simply put, it is just putting us first and the other party second. It should not be like that. No matter what or who took the step to make you be in that situation.
I just simply had to let go and let go and let go until at one point I felt like I really did.
As I told my ex, "I have not more rope to hold on to" "I am sorry for holding on to you and not letting go of you for so long".
I really wish that I could hang on to that fine weak rope forever and never ever let go. But I just realized that I was simply hurting myself more and more every day that I kept holding onto it.
As I took all the strength that I had left and gave it one last hug and kiss and simply realized that it was time to let it fly away. To a point I felt relieved and at the same time really sad and broken.
It has been a year and if she was not back by now, I don't think that she would have ever come back. Even after many talks of I love you and I miss you from both parties.
I am sure that she misses me and loves me too, but not in that way that held us together for so long in the past.
I will simply keep all of my great memories and the gifts that she left behind in my heart and soul, including my 2 beautiful children and cherish them forever as proof of the love that I once had and how now we still have, but at a different level.
I don't think that I will ever ever stop loving her. But we simply have to learn to love in a different way. With tears in my eyes I move forward and a day at a time. I knowing that even tho' after many mistakes, at the end I gave it my all.
I am sorry of I bored you with this huge message. But somehow I just did...lol...
I don't know of what is that you are going through, but I can only hope that maybe there is something that I say, it can help you at least just that little bit, to allow you to move forward and be able to let go a little more every day.
Peace.
Bennie
I got my ups and and my huge DOWNS too. I see the light but then again the darkness can take over so easily.
I thought that I had done a good job on letting go till today that I felt so bad and humiliated by my ex and it just exposed me to my own demise in love.
I did realized that when we (in this case I refer to me, but meaning people in general) say that we moved on or we say "I want you back" or "we belong together" type of comments, they are the most selfish things that we can say or do. Simply put, it is just putting us first and the other party second. It should not be like that. No matter what or who took the step to make you be in that situation.
I just simply had to let go and let go and let go until at one point I felt like I really did.
As I told my ex, "I have not more rope to hold on to" "I am sorry for holding on to you and not letting go of you for so long".
I really wish that I could hang on to that fine weak rope forever and never ever let go. But I just realized that I was simply hurting myself more and more every day that I kept holding onto it.
As I took all the strength that I had left and gave it one last hug and kiss and simply realized that it was time to let it fly away. To a point I felt relieved and at the same time really sad and broken.
It has been a year and if she was not back by now, I don't think that she would have ever come back. Even after many talks of I love you and I miss you from both parties.
I am sure that she misses me and loves me too, but not in that way that held us together for so long in the past.
I will simply keep all of my great memories and the gifts that she left behind in my heart and soul, including my 2 beautiful children and cherish them forever as proof of the love that I once had and how now we still have, but at a different level.
I don't think that I will ever ever stop loving her. But we simply have to learn to love in a different way. With tears in my eyes I move forward and a day at a time. I knowing that even tho' after many mistakes, at the end I gave it my all.
I am sorry of I bored you with this huge message. But somehow I just did...lol...
I don't know of what is that you are going through, but I can only hope that maybe there is something that I say, it can help you at least just that little bit, to allow you to move forward and be able to let go a little more every day.
Peace.
Bennie
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